The tears of Lily
by Uranie
Summary: Lily has some difficulties to deal with all the threat that represent the deatheaters. She feels very vulnerable. Hopefully, James Potter will be there... please let me a review!


**THE TEARS OF LILY**

**Hello, this is a one shot with Lily Evans and James Potter in guest star. Originally, the story was not in english. I'm french so this is a traduction. I did it by my own so be indulgent!! I hope you'll enjoy the story!!! Read & review!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea of the story.**

**Rating: K; nothing really shocking.**

**Summary: Lily has some difficulties to deal with all the threat that represent the deatheaters. She feels very vulnerable. Hopefully, James Potter will be there ...**

Lily strode along the corridor. She was going to the library of the school. It was Saturday afternoon, and she would have been at Hogsmeade with her friends, having fun, but she wanted to work. Since a moment, it seemed to her that she had to prove herself, to legitimate her place at Hogwarts, and show that she was good enough as a witch to stay there. In fact, she was becoming crazy.

Voldemort grew stronger and stronger, and had more and more wizzards with him. It was impossible to say who was with him, and who was with the Minister; nothing was sure. Attacks could happen wherever, whenever; everybody could be killed. The Minister did what he could, but it did not change a lot of things. Lily was living in the fear. Not only the fear for herself, but also for her family. They were muggles: the ones the dark Lord couldn't stand in his world. His world of pure-blood wizzards, so powerfull: all of them his slaves. Just thinking of it was very scarring.

At the crossroads of two corridors, lily noticed a band of four slytherin students. They looked younger than her. Like fourth or fifth year; she was in the sixth year. She was headgirl, and quiet authoritarian. But in front of the slytherins, she felt uncomfortable, nearly in danger. When she was confronted to Lucius Malefoy or his best friend, Lestrange, she used to panic. Yet, she was not a fearful personn. But she knew the slytherins could become very inventive when their goal was to make people suffer. Together, they kept the terror in the school. Last times, students came to see the nurse. They didn't say what had happened to them, or from where came their injuries. They were too much affraid of reprisals. But all the other students knew.

Lily suspected Dumbledore of knowing the whole story. In his speech of the beginning of the year, he had spoked about the brotherhood that had to take place in the wizzard world for everybody's sake. The truth was that the slytherins didn't want everybody's sake: they just wanted their own sake. And they were affraid of nothing, even not of Dumbledore. In fact, their only fear, beside Voldemort himself, was the marauders. Lily knew that. Their jokes and pranks were exclusively directed against the slytherins. These ones would have prefer not to have this privilege.

Lily took the corridor on her left in order to go to the library. After a moment, she noticed some sounds and laughes behind her. She had a quick glance behind her. Some slytherins were following her. She sped up her walk. She was barely running when she finally entered the library. Once there, she had a sit in the back of the library, where no one never came. Now, she could breath, she was saved. They wouldn't dare to follow her until there, a place with a lot of students around.

But the rest was very short. The slytherins reappeared and went up to Lily's table. They looked threatening. Lily was at a loss. She had no idea about what to do. Maybe to scream.

"They can't attack me right here, Lily thought in herself to calm her fear. They'll never dare. They can't take out on a headgirl in front of witnesses without risking a detention or worse."

Lily tried as she could to calm herself down in order not to panic. But nothing could help her. Actually the slytherins reached her table and circled her. Lily's hands tensed on the book she had started to read. She tried to not look at them, to focus on the book. She wanted them to disappear.

One of them, Crabbe, or maybe it was Goyle (Lily never knew), started to lean over her with a very frightening look on his face. But just when Lily was to scream of terror, the slytherin straightened up and, visibly scarred, left the library, followed by the other slytherins. Lily didn't understand.

She looked around her in order to see what could have so much impressed the slytherins and she discovered the professor Mc Gonagall, standing in front of shelves, holding a book. But the professor was not reading her book. She was ferociously looking at the door through the one the slytherins had escaped. Then, she looked at Lily. She looked at her right in the eye, with a tenderness Lily had never seen in her look. After that, the professor left the library.

Correction. Lily had already seen this tenderness in the look of her teacher. But ordinary, that was not addressed to her. It was only for the marauders. They could do or say every stupid thing they wanted; their teacher had for them an incredible tenderness. Mac Gonagall used to be very indulgent with the marauders. And Lily was ready to bet that it had nothing to do with all the Quidditch victories won because of James agility as a seeker and Sirius talent as a beater in the gryffindor team. The truth was that they were all the time challenging her authority. But, in fact, maybe it was the reason why she seemed to love them so much. And she was not the only one. Lily had already seen how warm were Dumbledore's looks to the marauders during the banquets. And there was also Hagrid, that Lily liked very much, and who seemed really impressed by the boldness of these young students. Yet, it was not the time to think about such stupid pranks; there was a war. Lily thought it was totally inappropriate.

But Lily started to think about something else; she had plenty of homework and no will to keep the marauders in her mind. She spent all the afternoon there, in the library, working on her spells. At six, she started to rank the books she had used, and then she went away. She had worked hard enough to have some rest now. The banquet would be in an hour; she had some time to go to her common room.

She was walking to the Gryffindor tower. Unfortunately, at the crossroads of two corridors, she collides with an other student. While she was going to say sorry, she noticed a green and silver badge on the cloak of the student. Slytherins were really everywhere today! The student was taller than her. She looked up in order to see who was this slytherin. Long blond hair and eyes grey like steel appreared to her: Malefoy! The slytherin prefect hated her; she knew it. According to him, Hogwarts was not a place for a muggle-born. Plus, a muggle child couldn't be a prefect, it was an insult, even if it was a gryffindor!

Lily took a step back. She didn't want to be confronted to Lucius Malefoy. In theory she was as talented in magic than he was; she even knew a lot of spells that the other students of her class didn't know, including the pure-bloods. But for the practice Lily felt that she was not good enough to fight against Malefoy. He was a true wizzard. He had always lived in this world. Not Lily. She was like an intruder.

But at this moment, Lily noticed that there was someone behind Malefoy: Lestrange. And this time, there was no teacher there to help here. Nobody. Just her and the slytherins. She knew she was not capable of saving her by her own.

"So, mudblood, you're going for a walk? Beware. You don't know what could happen to you", Lestrange said, with a frightening look on his face, while he was clutching his wand.

Lucius Malefoy smiled badly. He also had his wand in his hand.

" Wait a minute, he said to Lestrange. There must be some funny thing to do with her."

Then he started to detail her, on a very unpleasant way, from head to foot, with a satisfied smile on his face. It made Lily sick. Without thinking of it, she turned back and started to run away the faster she could. Spells were suddenly heard behind her. One of them ricocheted off the wall near Lily. But she was still running.

She went down the stairs, reached the doors of the great hall and saw two slytherin students. Instinctively, she changed her direction to avoid them. She could hear some steps behind her. Someone was running after her. She sped up in order to not be captured by Malefoy and Lestrange.She reached the great doors of the hall and went out in the park, still running at top speed. Some students, coming back from Hogsmeade, would ask themselves why she was running that way. She went round to Hagrid's hut and rushed in to the forbidden forest. Arrived there, she leant back against a tree in order to catch her breath. She tried to calm herself down.

Then, she realized where she was: the forest! She hadn't thought of where she was going to. And now, she was in this so dangerous forest! She couldn't stay here. Students had no right to be here. That was forbidden. She listened aroud her to hear if there was no sound of some dangerous beast.

At this moment, she could hear. Some fallen leaves and branches started to snap. Lily could hear someone's breath. That was a human breath: someone was approaching. This time, that would be more difficult to escape. Lily didn't know the inside of the forest ( just the edge of the wood, behind Hagrid's hut). She even didn't know how to exit and get to Hogwarts. She had no issue. And she could hear the danger, still approaching, threatening.

Lily, hidden behin a tree, realized that the person was just about to reach the place where she was. She had to take her chance if she wanted to escape. She took a deep breath and dashed through the forest, running as fast as she could.

But behind her, someone was also running: someone was chasing her! She felt a hand trying to capture her arm but she escaped. She wanted to run faster, but she had no strenght left. The hand behind her tried once again to catch her arm, and this time succeeded. The hand pulled her arm and Lily had to slow down. Her agressor had succeeded to catch her. But Lily didn't want to give up. She was a gryffindor, and gryffindors had courage. So... When she felt a harm trying to hug tightly her waist, she started to struggle. She hit the person as she could. Her attacker tried to protect himself, but it was difficult. She even didn't aim. Lily couldn't see the face of the person in front of her. But one thing was sure: it was not Malfoy. He had no blond hair. But who it might be, Lily wanted to be free from him. She bit his wrist. Feeling the pain, he let her go of.

In one stroke, Lily fell on the ground. But she fastly got up, and at this moment, she could hear the voice of her attacker – a so familiar voice in fact:

"Ouch! Merlin! It hurts."

Potter? No! Lily turned round. Her "attacker" was holding his wrist and seemed to feel a deep pain. He stood up, and Lily could completely see his face. And it was really James Potter.

"Potter, stammered Lily. It's impossible. What are you doing here? What 's this new game of chasing me? Do you find it funny? Is it a new prank of yours?"

She had pactically screamed the last sentence. After all the anguish, she was at the end of her tether. Now, she was angry.

"Oh, shut up, Evans!"

Lily couldn't believe what she had just heard. It was the first time he talked to her that way. On the contrary, he used to be excessively charming with her, what she felt very uncomfortable with. In fact, James to be angry; while it was Lily who had to be angry.

"Really Evans: perfect! It's just perfect! I don't know if you aimed, but it's really perfect!"

Lily was exasperated by James's angry.

"What are you talking about, Potter?" She asked, irritated.

"What I am talking about! I'm talking about my wrist!"

"It's only a scratch."

"Only a scratch!"

"Oh. Don't look so indignant."

"You're certainly not understanding the importance of the thing."

"And what is so important for you?"

"I just point out to you that you've bitten my right wrist. And I'm right-handed! Question: how am I supposed to play Quidditch if I can't use my right hand? The competition is not over yet. How can I win?"

This once, Lily exploded:

"So, that's all! Quidditch! You only care about this stupid game; there's nothing else important for you, right? Let me tell you something: there are more important things! But I suppose you don't have to worry in view of the fact that you're a pure blood: you're quite safe."

Lily stopped, realizing what she had just said. Now, James lookes serious.

"What are you saying, Lily?"

"Nothing, she quickly answered. I say nothing."

"Oh, yes: you're saying something. You talk about me like these bloody slytherins. It is true that I am a pure blood, but I'm not going to say sorry about that. And I want you to know that I don't care about that. My parents didn't brought me up telling me that I was superior to other wizzards because of my blood. So don't call me "pure blood"!"

James was beside him. He tried to control himself, but he was upset. Lily could see it. Now, she was cross with herself for making James so furious. Of course she knew he was not a deatheater, going to obey to Voldemort. But he didn't let her some time to apologize; he started again his monologue.

"And don't talk about the things you ignore. My father is an auror (sorry I'm not sure of the word in english) and he works everydays in order to fight the wizzards who obey to Voldemort. Everydays my mother goes to visit wizzard families that have been attacked, and she can see all the pain of this war."

This once, that was too much for Lily. She didn't deserve such a sermon. Especially because James used to be so reckless with Sirius Black.

"Don't speak to me like if I didn't know anything, Potter! You're not the one who can give a lecture to me!"

" You think so?"

"Exactly. You and Black are all the times making pranks to everyone. You both have a superficial attitude, you're never serious. You're all the time acting as if nothing had importance, as if nothing mattered. But a lot of things are happening, important things, and you can't see it. "

"Then again, you're talking without understanding. The marauders, it's not superficial."

"Oh! Is there something I ignore? Do you act for a cause?"

"Well, if you want to know the whole story, yes we strive towards a sacred goal: to make people have fun. It may sound totally absurd to you, and superficial, but today more than ever, people need to laugh a little, to be happy. Therefore, yes: pranks are important, Quidditch is important. It changes from the news that announce everyday the number of new victims. You may think that because we make pranks we're unable to be serious. We are more than concerned. This summer, Sirius had to move on and to come to live at my home. He couldn't live with his family anymore, because they hit it off with Voldemort. Can you imagine? He has no family anymore, only the marauders. Hogwarts is his house now; the place where he feels home. His parents hate him because he doesn't agree with them about the place of pure bloods in the wizzard world. According to them, he's a traitor. Can you imagine how it must be to feel rejected by your own family?"

Lily thought with bitterness about her sister, Petunia, who saw her like a monster and pretended that she was not her sister anymore.

"And don't think that I'm safe because I'm a pure blood. Everyone knows that my famlily is against the ideas of Voldemort, and fights against him and all the wizzards at his side. For him, now, we're just like muggles. Maybe one day, when he is strong enough and has enough servants, he will find us and attack us. For the moment, he's too scared, but it will happen. And in the future, the purity of my blood won't save me."

James had finished now. He was standing up straight, really serious. Suddenly Lily thought that the gryffindor looked older, more mature.

"I didn't know that", she said.

A long silence followed her sentence. James was still massaging his wrist.

"Well, at least, you know how to fight", he joked. "Why did you bite me like that?"

Suddenly, Lily felt bad at ease. She didn't want to admit that she had been scared by some slytherins in front of James.

-"There was someone I wanted to escape to", she said in the most casual way she could.

James looked seriously at her face.

"Malfoy and Lestrange", he said.

"How do you know?" she asked, surprised.

"I saw them in the corridor. They were in front of you and they tried to hex you. You ran away and they were two against you. I just used a little magic to show them how to behave in front of a lady. It was the best I could do!

Lily was truly impressed: that was the first time James Potter was doing something really nice for her!

- "What did they want?" he asked.

- "Oh, nothing. Just like everytimes."

- " What do you mean "just like everytimes"?"

James looked shocked.

"Lily, don't tell me they dare to attack you! You're a prefect!"

"To be a prefect doesn't change anything. For them, I'm only a mudblood."

This time, James was out of himself.

"Lily Evans, I should kick you for what you've just said! You're not a mudblood. You're far smarter than all the slytherins. You're one of the most intelligent students of the class; in fact, you're the second after me" he added with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Once again, Lily rolled her eyes. He would never change!

"Seriously, said James, Malfoy can say what he wants, but you're better than him at magic, and he knows it. Probably that's why he hates so much the muggles: anyone can do magic better than him. His birth doesn't give him so much power."

What James whas saying was so comforting for Lily. Maybe it was her place to be at Hogwarts, actually. At least, James thought so. It felt good to know she hadn't to prove anything; she worthed more than certain people. Then she started to cry. James tried to comfort her but she made him a sign: she just felt the need to cry a little, because of all the things that had happenned to her. She smiled at him. It seemed to reassure him a little.

" You know what james? I thought you were just a joker, doing pranks all the time. I think I was a bit paranoiac. The truth is: I don't feel so comfortable anymore in the wizzard world. In my first year, I was so excited. But now, with the danger of the deatheaters, the wizzards who don't want of me here, and all this crazy war, I think I would have prefered not to be a witch..."

"No Lily, no, said James. No, don't say that. Magic is a great gift. It's in you. You've been chosen for one good reason: you were strong enough to receive it. Don't let anyone say that Hogwarts is not your place, because it's wrong; you're one of us."

But Lily couldn't catch the truth of these words.

"The day will come, said James again, where you'll feel the magic in you. And you will have no more doubts. That day, you will know who you are: a witch."

Then, there was a silence between them. Lily was thinking about what James had just said. After a moment, James broke the silence.

"Don't you think we should come back. It's going to be the dinner."

Around them, it was getting dark. More than ever, the forest looked frightening. Yes, it was time to leave and return to the school.

"Yes, answered Lily. But I don't know how to return. It will take us many time to find our way."

James simply smiled at her. He looked around him and pointed:

"That's the way. Follow me."

Lili started to walk after him.

" How can you know where we are going? She asked, curious."

"Let's say I have a good sense of direction", he said with a myterious smirk on the face.

But Lily didn't believe him.

" Have you ever been in the forest?"

"Hey, miss prefect. I saved you from Malfoy and Lestrange, so no inquisitive questions today."

It was obvious for Lily that James didn't want to share all his secrets with her. And it was also more obvious that the marauders have been there many times, without any permission. How many rules axactly did they break? A lot, of course! But tonight, Lily didn't care. They lived the forest to find the lights of the school. James took Lily's hand and smiled at her shyly. She felt it good. Now she was determined to let live the magic in her life.

**That's it. I've finally done it!!! This traduction has been quite long and difficult so pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase let me a review, or even two, or three, or a million!!!! It will make me happy! thanx**


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